R-rated Baby Girl

My oldest daughter is nine-years old. This was written 6 years ago:

Anna Beth continues to amaze me. Her imagination is so very much more active than my own. I know part of that comes from being “pure” and not jaded by formal education, but most of it is because she’s wonderful.

Last night she asked, “Daddy, why is it necessary for dogs to not have lips?”

I was stumped.

She could have asked that question several different ways… but she asked, why is it necessary, and I didn’t have an answer. If she’d questioned, simply, “why don’t dogs have lips?” I would have answered with, roughly, “because it’s not necessary.” But she took that away from me… and I think she did so on purpose… to test me.

I came up with something like, “because, when is the last time a dog had to whistle? Dogs don’t need to whistle. Yeah, that’s it. Humans whistle for dogs… not the other way around … hey, look! Cartoons!”

… and this happened earlier today:

My wife just called… crying. It was the good kind of crying, not the “you’re an idiot” kind of crying I’m used to. Anyway, she was chortling on about Anna Beth.

It seems that after a trip to the grocery store this morning, Anna was trying to open her just-purchased “Lunchable.” She was tearing at the box and trying to pry it open with her teeth when Bethany hollered back, “Baby, that’s not how you open things… take your time and be patient!”

Anna snapped back, “I KNOW how to open Lunchables, Mama, I have an erection!”

Of course, what my little angel was trying to communicate is that she knows the DIRECTIONS (and, yes, it would have been proper for her to say “instructions,” and not “directions,” but I’m not going to correct her twice. She might come back with another question… and NOT about dogs this time).

God bless her sweet, sweet heart.


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