I think I am done with Twitter.

First of all, I don’t ever go there for information. I go there because it’s there. One time I laughed at a Twitter post, but then realized it was a Jim Gaffigan quote. Speaking of Jim Gaffigan… I love this guy. He is the second funniest comedian alive. Brian Reagan is the funniest. But Twitter doesn’t help him, either… BECAUSE HE DOESN’T USE IT!

Anyway, here’s Gaffigan’s latest Twitter post:
wow watching a show (recorded) jump the shark

See? It’s so disappointing. And speaking of disappointing, here are my last 20 Twitter posts. You should unfollow me immediately, because I am doing nothing to enrich, inform or change your life. At all.

  1. @bobflayhart Be safe. God bless. Bring me a T-shirt.about 21 hours ago from twhirl in reply to bobflayhart
  2. Pillars of Davidson (LIVE) is a great song. I don’t care to know what it is about. Unless it is a great song about the devil.about 22 hours ago from web
  3. RT @wannabef: I’m starting #fallowfriday to celebrate unmet potential. (My first recommendation? @billy_ivey)about 23 hours ago from twhirl
  4. Last night, I polished one of these off with a refreshing “ass mocha.” My wife just had fries and an “ass tea” : http://twitpic.com/9w98t.about 23 hours ago from twhirl
  5. Email address is now active. Please make a note of it: billy(at)protagonisttheory(dot)com. Gmail still works, but this is better. Cary on.10:25 AM Jul 9th from twhirl
  6. @donmilleris Wow! Fantastic way to show the concept. Bravo. Somebody over there is purty smarte.8:17 AM Jul 9th from twhirl in reply to donmilleris
  7. Truth in coffee: I drink 5 cups every day. 1 for each kid. Today, Anna burned. Ben was good. Merrie is better. Abe & Quinn will have milk.8:00 AM Jul 9th from web
  8. @davemahanes Thanks, brother!8:03 PM Jul 7th from twhirl in reply to davemahanes
  9. Pray for Mom: http://is.gd/1qDrf.7:51 PM Jul 7th from twhirl
  10. RT: @donmilleris: One of the coolest things I’ve ever been involved in: http://bit.ly/3w58Cs7:02 PM Jul 7th from twhirl
  11. This is beautiful and so very appropriate… Not just today for me, but for every day… for everyone: http://is.gd/1qcBO. Awesome.11:15 AM Jul 7th from twhirl
  12. @davidvwenzel brilliant, helpful and beautiful post this morning. Thank you.10:23 AM Jul 7th from twhirl in reply to davidvwenzel
  13. @joe_dannelly blessings, grace, smiles and sunshine to you and yours… I want to hear (almost) everything when you get back. Congrats, bro.6:52 PM Jul 5th from twhirl
  14. @joe_dannelly That’s right… especially you!9:19 AM Jul 2nd from twhirl in reply to joe_dannelly
  15. Have a safe, happy 4th, everybody! Today is the 2nd, so feel free to be reckless and miserable… But 2 days from now? Giddy up!9:01 AM Jul 2nd from twhirl
  16. Brian Regan is funnier than the guy you think is funnier than anyone else you know: http://is.gd/1ke4Y8:44 AM Jul 1st from twhirl
  17. When is the last time you thought about your navel? Be honest.8:47 PM Jun 30th from twhirl
  18. “Daddy, I have poop.” You have poop? “Oh, wait. No. The baby has poop.” The baby has poop? Are you sure? “I think he has poop, but I tooted”5:13 AM Jun 30th from web
  19. Sooo glad I got my Mighty Putty and OxiClean orders in before they became priceless: http://is.gd/1h9Ck10:55 AM Jun 28th from twhirl
  20. RT: @matchstic Russia’s national oil company, Gazprom, just signed a joint venture with Nigeria…they named it ‘Nigaz.’ So strange…7:20 AM Jun 27th from twhirl

I am not going to delete my account just yet, but I think I am done with Twitter.



  1. Billy- You know those reader boards in front of some churches that use cheesy quips to make a statement. Twitter, in my opinion, is just an electronic version of that. It means we all get our own billboards. I can’t use twitter.

  2. I’m just glad I made the list at #8. I love to know that I have some influence in your life…even if it makes you a quitter of twitter!

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