The moving company sent a couple of guys over to the house today to help us pack. They couldn’t have been nicer fellas, but they were a little hard to understand. In fact, they didn’t speak English. After a few minutes, I surmised that they were friends who came to America from Somalia searching for a better life.

Well, we showed them.

Throughout the day, I tweeted what I thought they might be saying to each other.

Here goes:

“What should I write on this box of crap from the dining room? Seriously. It’s noodle art, printer paper, crayons & a fork.” #SomaliMovers

“I think we should pack their cat. That would be hilarious… Hey, what’s a guy gotta do to get offered a glass of water?” #SomaliMovers

“Remember that time we moved your Aunt from Odweyn to Karkaar during the civil war? She was more prepared than this.” #SomaliMovers

“We’ve been here for like an hour and a half, and I haven’t seen a single thing I’d like to steal.” #SomaliMovers

“I feel sorry for the kids.” #SomaliMovers

“Dude! I was kidding about the cat! Let it out…” #SomaliMovers

“They seem like nice enough people. I’m gonna do them a favor and break some of this stuff.” #SomaliMovers

“Maybe they don’t know where the dump is. We should tell them where the dump is.” #SomaliMovers

“I’ve seen nicer cookware in Qaydertahadiiledhuub.” #SomaliMovers

“They must be missionaries. Gotta be.” #SomaliMovers

“I bet they’re moving to get away from this smell in the laundry room.” #SomaliMovers

“That flat screen is nice. Wait, never mind. It’s a Philips.” #SomaliMovers

“Rock, paper, scissors for who has to pack the girls’ room.” #SomaliMovers

“If we leave now I bet we could get our jobs back at the factory.” #SomaliMovers

“They never said anything about 5 kids. This is #%*@!” #SomaliMovers

“What do you think they use this vacuum for?” #SomaliMovers

“Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far. Far, far away from here.” #SomaliMovers

“Your brother’s not so stupid now, huh? Tell me you wouldn’t rather be a pirate!” #SomaliMovers

One of the #SomaliMovers just told me he was done packing my sheets from the closet. I guess he doesn’t like my style.

“I don’t think these people appreciate the value of the stuff in this box. If they did, they’d throw it away.” #SomaliMovers

“We haven’t peed all day. Not once. Not even a little.” #SomaliMovers

“Remember that time we almost got deported? That was awesome.” #SomaliMovers

“Which box did you put the liquor in? We’re gonna need it. Have you seen the garage?” #SomaliMovers

“If I have to pack another baby doll, I’m gonna go Somalian on these $%#@ers.” #SomaliMovers

“I hate my life, but at least I don’t have 5 kids.” #SomaliMovers

“I just packed a Spider-Man action figure dressed in a princess skirt. These people are going to hell.” #SomaliMovers

“I could have been a pretty good soccer player, you know. But you’re my best friend, so… Anyway, good call on the big move. Seriously.” #SomaliMovers

“Just set the garage on fire. Do it! For the love of all that’s good in the world… Light it up. So tired.” #SomaliMovers

“Dreams are stupid.” #SomaliMovers


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